| Highschool Memories |
*I didn't know what to blog about so I stole the questions from "Chelle's Page".
1. What year was it? 1998 (Senior Year)
2. What were your three favorite bands? I know this sounds weird but I lived a very sheltered life so I didn't really have any favorite bands.
3. What was your favorite outfit? I liked getting away with as much as I could and in our private school, you couldn't get away with much. We had a dress code so it's hard to comment on a favorite outfit. If I had my way, it would have been jeans and a tank top....I just like to be comfortable.
4. What was up with your hair? My hair was brown with some blonde in it and it was long (completely natural....mom wouldn't let me dye or highlight until I was 18). I usually had it curly and wore it down alot.
5. Who were your best friends? Daisy was my best friend. I hung out with Juliet and Joy alot too, but I didn't consider them my best friends.
6. What did you do after school? Cheerleading practice! Yes, I was one of those girls. (I've grown out of the cheerleader type since)
7. Did you take the bus? No, before my brother went to college, he would drive me to school. I also had to car pool with a family I couldn't stand....They couldn't stand me either; I have no idea why they had agreed to drive me.
8. Who did you have a crush on? I had a crush on a guy named Jeremy (not my husband), and yes, I secretly did like Justin Jack. (my sophmore or junior year I think) He was a riot to be around, but I did slam him against the locker once because he pinched me the butt. I never told on him because I took care of it myself; he never laid a finger on me again. I could be a tough one if you got me mad!
9. Did you fight with your parents? I was inwardly very defiant. I didn't show it much outwardly, but I did use to give them attitude from time to time.
10. Who did you have a celebrity crush on? I can't remember his name right now....Antonio _____ (drawing a blank) He was a Calvin Klein model.
11. Did you smoke cigarettes? Nope
12. Did you lug all your books around all day because you were too nervous to find your locker? No, I went to a pretty small private school. I wouldn't have been afraid to go to my locker anyways because I wouldn't have put up with someone trying to bully me around.
13. Did you have a clique? Not really but maybe you could say I did. It was usually the same group of kids....we were known as the "rebellious" group. Hardly rebellious...I don't think I ever got into huge trouble.
14. Did you have The Max like Zach, Kelly, and Slater? No, we would hang out at Round Table Pizza after basketball games but that was about it.
15. Admit it, were you popular? Well, I never got homecoming queen or anything like that so I would have to say no.
16. Who did you want to be like? Noone at that school. Most of the kids I couldn't stand to be around except for the group I hung around with.
17. What did you want to be when you grew up? The truth is at the time I had no idea what I wanted to do career wise. I'm so happy my parents demanded that I get a college degree.
18. Where did you think you would be at the age you are now? I thought by now I would have had at least one child, but I'm not in a hurry. |
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| Sea World! |
Isn't Shamu too cute? Yesterday for my birthday, Jer and I went to Sea World which is ten minutes away from our house. The tickets are getting so expensive, but thankfully, we got in free because Jer is in the military. We don't get in free anytime we want but we saved our "once a year freebie" for my birthday. It was alot of fun. The weather wasn't too bad because it was cloudy off and on, so I didn't melt. I was able to feed and pet the dolphins. They are greedy little buggers. When they see you holding out a fish, they come swimming up to you fast. I should have majored in Zoology and gotten into the field of training those beautiful animals. I would have loved that since I absolutely adore most animals. So, I'm officially 26. I don't like to think about it. Everyone told me to enjoy my 20's because they go by the fastest. I didn't believe them when I turned 20--I mean for goodness sakes I had 10 years to enjoy them. Well, now I'm in my mid-20's and it has flown by so very fast. I just do not want to be one of those depressive women that get all upset when they turn 30. It's not the end of your life--yes, you are this much closer to the dreaded wrinkles, very slow metabolism, etc, but who cares we all have to get old. As long as we grow old gracefully, right? I still have some ways to go until that point in time, but I'll have to look back at this blog when it does happen and remind myself what I said. :) |
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| Love That Ice Cream! |
I am a complete ice cream fanatic. Read all the magazines and they tell you the same thing--portion control! Well, when it comes to ice cream, I don't have much self control and I definitely don't do the portion control. Even as I'm typing I have a carton of Rocky Road in front of me. Of course, now that they have come out with the "Slow Churned 1/2 the Fat" kind of ice cream, I convince myself that it's okay to eat even more.
The other day I had gone to the gym and worked off 450 calories running 4.42 miles on the elliptical machine. I was very proud of myself and when I got home I was still basking in my accomplishment. I opened the refrigerator to grab a bottled water and then instinctively I opened the freezer--just to take that one look inside--don't know why it's not like anything has changed from the last time I did. And there it was....looking at me and taunting me....that wonderful carton of ice cream. I had no will power; it had power over me! This time though I did what any self respecting woman would do--I shut the door and walked away. Ha! I had beat the temptation (at least for the time being) I had some by the time it was lunch but at least I had not fallen to it's alluring calling......I call this baby steps; I'm learning to say "no" little by little. I can't help it....I love ice cream!
Cheetos are another evil favorite of mine. I can practically eat a whole bag within a few days. I do not have chips in my pantry because I know I can't help but snack on those. I know what you all are thinking......"Why not keep ice cream out of your freezer then?"
Well, that is just asking too much of me. If I have to choose the lesser of two evils, I go for the ice cream for sure! I can't deprive myself of the little joys in life. |
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I'm having another sleepless night. They haven't been happening quite as often as in the past, but for some reason or another, I'm having one tonight. I guess some people wouldn't think 11 p.m. was late but for me it is because I'm usually in bed by 9:30 p.m. set to get up at 5:30 a.m. I need my 8 hours of sleep as doctors advise and I know in the long run it's the best thing for your body.
So, as I was laying in bed staring at the ceiling listening to the humming of the fan my mind went back to four years ago when I just graduated college and I was looking for my first job. I was so blessed to find the employers I did, what a huge difference from the people I work for today. They actually cared about me personally and truly made me a member of their family--Dr. Sacks and Dr. Barden and Phyllis too. Dr. Sacks and Dr. Barden are married and have two separate practices in the same office. Phyllis is the office manager but she might as well be family to the doctors. They are the kindest people I have ever met. They "took me in" when no other legal or medical office wanted to hire an unexperienced, fresh out of school girl. I couldn't have asked for better people to care for me. They helped me through one of the toughest times of my life--depression and anxiety. I was so embarrassed by having to admit to anyone that I was depressed. Depression from where I came from was something that didn't really exist, it was all in your head was what I heard my whole life, but I can say without a doubt that it is not something that is just in your head. You can beat it because I did, but I still find myself fighting it from time to time. With God's help, with the people that loved and cared for me, I was able to get back to a normal life. It took awhile and I had to seek help, but I beat it. I didn't let my parents, friends, or even my boyfriend at the time know what I was going through. It has been the biggest trial for me so far. Dr. Sacks, Phyllis, and my aunt were my biggest supporters. They had become my "family" because how could I go to my family back in CA and tell them that I was suffering from something that they didn't think even existed. Believe me, I love my parents very much, and I eventually told my mom everything and she really did try to understand and even when she admitted she couldn't fully, she supported me through the whole thing. Anxiety was another thing that was happening at the time and it's very strange to describe unless you have gone through it. It's like this feeling of worry and fear overwhelm you and most times you even struggle to breathe. It was one of the strangest things I had ever experienced. Now, I'm getting off track because I really wanted to talk about my doctors and Phyllis. They were unlike any employers I ever had or ever will have again. They care so much for people. Anyone that knows them should count themselves lucky and blessed. They are definitely not perfect, neither am I, but they truly cared about me, the person that I was and they loved me through for who I was.
You're probably thinking what is the big deal about that, but I guess you would have to understand about part of my upbringing. This part has nothing to do with my parents because they have always loved me, but I grew up in a church that didn't really care about people. I don't think I'm exaggerating at all. There were a handful or two that were real but for the most part, it wasn't like that. If you didn't think, act, and conform the way they wanted you to, you were pretty much an outcast. I had always felt like that; my mom had little snide remarks said to her that definitely implied as much and I remember the looks that I would get also. Things like that make a lasting memory in someone's mind. They weren't very kind people and growing up I knew it. I always wondered why my parents stayed there and now I know they did because they wanted me and my brother in a Christian school....that was the only reason, they did it for us.
The bottom line was I always wanted to be accepted for the person that I was but it never happened by the people that I thought really mattered. Of course, I had two teachers in highschool that I know loved me for who I was--Mrs. Young and Mr. Carey. They don't know how much that meant to me, but even with them really caring, I was always wanting the approval by the others. I wish I was a little wiser back then because now I know that their approval and acceptance does not matter one bit. They are people that don't look at the heart and what is in the inside; they only look at the outward and what you personify to the public. Yes, that matters a little but it only has .01% significance. What really matters is what God says and that is what is in somebody's heart!
I struggled with the feeling of rejection and unacceptance for so long that I had bottled it inside and never really faced the hurt that it had caused for all those years. But the things that "haunt" you and the insecurities that have been stifled for so long will surface at some point in your life. I think mine did early on which I'm thankful for because I was able to really deal with them even though going through the "side effects" as I like to call them, like depression and anxiety, was hard, yet it was the best thing that could have happened.
I came to realize and learn different lessons, like to be thankful and cherish the people that did love and truly care for me, to know that I never wanted to treat anyone the way I saw people get treated at that church, to know that God was more than this Being that struck you down whenever you did something wrong--I came to realize that God was an utmost loving, patient, accepting, forgiving God. That was something that was never truly taught to me, but I found the true Him through one of the lowest points of my life. And He brought people into my life (the doctors, Phyllis, Auntie, Mida) to help me through it. Looking back now I know that He knew exactly what I was going to need during that time and I know for a fact that being invited to stay for the summer with my aunt (which then turned into three years), stepping into that doctor's office on that hot July summer in 2002, meeting one of my dearest friends, Mida, at the single's group at the new church I was going to was no accident or chance thing that happened, but it was intentional and planned out by God because He knew that I would have ups and downs those three years of my life and He knew exactly what people I needed to have in my life during those times.
I now thank God for everything I have experienced in my life because there are lessons to learn in every walk of life. I constantly have to remind myself this when things don't happen according to my plan. |
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When I think of Worship, many things come to my mind. I first think of the many ways there are to worship our God. It's not only through music, singing, lifting your hands to heaven to praise Him, but it's also through our actions. When we are kind and loving to someone who is less fortunate, that is a act of worship to God. It is showing the reflection of Him through our selfless actions. Since my husband and I have been blessed financially, we absolutely love to give to Samaritan Purse headed by Frank and Billy Graham. They have sent us DVD's that show what the financial gifts have helped the victims of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans, people in Africa rebuilding churches after the massacres happened...I was so happy that we were able to donate enough to build one small building in Africa. I'm not saying this to brag because it was definitely given from my heart.
I have a little girl in India that I've been supporting through Compassion since 2004. I love to receive letters from her letting me know that she enjoys the school she is able to go to, the food she is provided, and how she learns different lessons in Sunday School. I absolutely love when she writes and addresses me as her "Sponsor Mom". I am so happy that I can be part of making a difference for an Indian family and I've also received word from her parents (through a translator). It makes it seem a little more real when I get to hear from my sponsor child and her family. I just hope someday I will have the chance to go to India and meet her in person.
I hope that I can bring a smile to God's face when He sees that instead of thinking that giving is a requirement, it's more of an act of worship to Him. I give in His name and to let Him know that I am so grateful for the blessings He's given my family. |
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| Random Thoughts........ |
Today I went to see Captain Jack (Pirates of the Caribbean)! It was a pretty good movie, but I definitely liked the first one the best. I think that is how it is with most movies though; the sequel isn't always as good as the first one. I went to a great Mexican restaurant with my husband before the movie, and I got way too full on chips and salsa....soooo good though! I'll have to work it off later tonight with my Zone Pilates. I ordered it, and it actually works. I can already see a difference.
One more week of work and I'm free from them! I can't wait to be able to get up every morning and go to the gym, clean the house, cook some good meals....just be a housewife for a little while! I'm excited and then I'm off to another adventure of moving soon. |
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Name: Gracey
Home: United States
About Me: Welcom to my site! This is a place for me to write from day to day or sometimes from week to week. It just depends what is happening in my life. Please stay as long as you'd like and hope to hear from you soon as well!
See my profile...
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Brushes by Gvalkyrie
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posted by Gracey at 
