| Laughing and Crying All At The Same Time |
Tonight I feel numb. I've been lying awake next to my husband with all kinds of thoughts going through my mind. First I start to quietly giggle because I think of some funny thing he did earlier today, then that laugh turns into just a smile as my thoughts turn to the big grin he gave me when he got home today, and then all of a sudden the tears start as I know in just a few short days that smile will not be there to greet me at the door. The tears are running as I'm writing this and I can barely see the screen. There are times when I feel very strong and other times when I feel very weak and vulnerable. The weak and vulnerable time is at this exact moment. During the day, I'm a strong woman who can handle anything that comes her way, but it's on nights like these when the scared little girl comes out from hiding. I know it will take time to adjust and to learn to live without him by my side, but that journey isn't going to be easy.
You may be thinking I'm sounding as if he's dead, but I do not have the guarantee that he will come back to me alive either. I pray and hope that he will but there is no guarantee. There is no guarantee of that for anyone. Most of the time, I do not think of it, but there are times it creeps up and invades my thoughts for a moment or two, and then I push it back as far as it will go and hope it doesn't return for a long while.
As much as I tried to prepare myself, it never is enough. Some people's thoughts are "Well, you knew what you were signing up for when you married him." How can anyone know what they are really "signing up" for when you haven't ever experienced it before? I don't regret my decision to marry this man one bit and would do it in a heartbeat again if given the choice. I'm not looking for sympathy or a pat on the back; I just needed to write, vent, and let go..... And in a way, I actually feel a little bit better to have let some of it out! Tomorrow will be another day--another day to be strong and weak; another day to laugh and cry--and, you know, I think that is alright! |
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Well, I thought you all would appreciate this. I got to talking to the doctor's dad last week and he was telling me how he used to work at the eye clinic on Fort Hood back in the 50's, and at that time, Elvis was stationed at Fort Hood and used to visit Mr. Ruiz a lot because he let Elvis kind of hide out in his office when he wanted to get away from the crowds and people in general. Mr. Ruiz said Elvis was a really nice, humble man and they used to have some really good conversations when he would "hide out".
Mr. Ruiz brought in a picture of him and Elvis from June of 1958 and I scanned it at home to save it since I love Elvis and loved hearing Mr. talk about him. Thought you might get a kick out of it too! I actually know someone who knew Elvis on a personal level!!! Pretty cool! |
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| One Moment More By Mindy Smith |
Hold me
Even though I know you're leaving
And show me
All the reasons you would stay
It's just enough to feel your breath on mine
To warm my soul and ease my mind
You've got to hold me and show me love
Give me
Just one part of you to cling to
And keep me
Everywhere you are
It's just enough to steal my heart and run
And fade out with the folding sun
Oh, please don't go
Let me have you just one moment more
Oh, all I need
All I want is just one moment more
You've got to hold me and keep me
Tell me that someday you'll be returning
And maybe
Maybe I'll believe
It's just enough to see a shooting star
To know you're never really far
It's just enough to see a shooting star
To know you're never really gone
Oh, please don't go
Let me have you just one moment more
Oh, all I need
All I want is just one moment more
Oh, please don't go
Let me have you just one moment more
Oh, all I need
All I want is just one moment more
You've got to hold me and maybe I'll believe
So hold me
Even though I know you're leaving
*This song goes through my mind each time I think of Jeremy leaving for war! |
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| Drama Drama Drama |
I want to know if there is anybody else out there that works at a job where there seems to be some type of drama every day???? Today one of the girls gave her two-weeks notice because she was very upset about something, but my employer told her that since she gave her resignation, she might as well not come in anymore. Another girl I'm pretty sure is going to quit also soon. I worked for a horrible boss last year and I absolutely abhorred my job because this boss made my life miserable. She was one of the meaniest, power hungry women I've ever met. Compared to her, my boss now is an angel. He does have some quirks about him, but if we are honest with ourselves, who doesn't have some? Most of the time, I don't have a problem with him, and if something does rub me the wrong way, I tell him and we discuss it like adults should. I know he has a temper on him, but he does control it in that I've never heard him yell or blow up. He can be pretty intimidating when he's upset, but I know I can be when I'm mad too.
I don't know what the big deal is really. I guess she hated her job and she hated him. Some people just can't get beyond their differences I suppose. Oh well, I just hate drama! Maybe we won't have as much now? |
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Name: Gracey
Home: United States
About Me: Welcom to my site! This is a place for me to write from day to day or sometimes from week to week. It just depends what is happening in my life. Please stay as long as you'd like and hope to hear from you soon as well!
See my profile...
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Brushes by Gvalkyrie
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posted by Gracey at 
