| Monday Memories - The Day I Learned To Be Me |
It all started at a fairly early age. Compared to nowadays I don't know if it really was an early age, but I would have been in fourth grade at the age of 9 or 10. My parents put my brother and I into a new private school that year, so I was the new kid on the block. I was different from most of the other kids, so I got made fun of alot. I wore dresses and that must have been a bewilderment to most of the kids because I was called a weirdo for awhile. I used a different version of the Bible than the other kids, so they looked at me as if I was an alien when I had to read out loud in class. I have this flat mole on the right side of my head right by the hairline and when I have my hair in a ponytail, if you look very closely, you can see it. I guess nothing ever got passed those kids because I was called "salami head". It's not even a big mole but I guess kids will be kids. Anyway, it was a hard year for me and I never felt like I fit in at that school. I was happy when my parents decided to send me back to the other school that they had taken me out of previously.
Why is it that girls always like the "bad" boys? I actually have never really been attracted to those kind of men, but that fourth grade year I was crushing on Brian, the "bad" boy of the class. I guess he was just popular in the school, but now that I think back on it, he wasn't a very nice child. He made fun of people, cut in line at lunch, knocked your book off the desk, etc. Since I was one of those children that was always made fun of, I have no idea why that one fateful day, he put his arm around me and whispered that he liked me! He graced me with his presence and attention!!! I was on a cloud and it was only going up from there or so I thought. For a brief moment, I was popular and all the jeers ceased because Brian had put his stamp of approval on me. I was the "First Lady" so to speak and I was loving every moment of it.
And then one day, I must have snapped. We were on the playground, me and the cool people, waiting in line to play dodge ball. Brian was behind me trying to get my attention by jabbing my side with his long pointy finger. I told him to stop but he kept at it, poking, poking, poking, it never stopped. I was like the Hulk, it kept building up and building up until I just exploded. I didn't turn into a big green thing but I did swing around with my fist and nailed him so hard on his left arm. He went down like a sack of potatoes and I think he almost started to cry.
All of a sudden, my crush didn't like me anymore. I just can't imagine why!!! His friend told me the next day that I hit him so hard that he couldn't play baseball after school and the coach was mad at him for whining. He told his coach that a seventh grader hit him, and of course, it was a huge junior high male!
From that day on, I became a new person so to speak. No more was the little timid, shy girl that let everyone step on her. I wasn't going to take it anymore. I was going to defend myself from anyone's mean jokes, name calling, bullying around. What surprised me most was it seemed I earned all of their respect or I just frightened all of them to death because I didn't hear any more jokes about my "salami head". Now, I'm not advocating using your fists to solve your problems, but that day made me realize that I didn't need to just stand there with my head down as they all made fun of me. Shoot, I learned to an extent that I didn't need any of them to approve of me either. I was who I was and if no one liked me then so be it.
I think being made fun of so much helped me become compassionate towards others. I always tried to be nice to people when I was growing up. I didn't want to be one of those kids that jeered the underdog. Every phase of life leaves its mark on you, whether it is good or bad, but even if it is bad, you can make it into something that is good. I would like to think that I made the bad into good and from that day on, I became me! |
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| 10 Comments: |
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Well sometimes you gotta kick a little butt to get people's attention. I'm not surprised that boy turned out to be a crybaby. The one's that always act so tought usually are.
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Way to go, Gracey! What a great lesson to learn early on in life!
Oh, and thanks for the inspiration for my blog today, too!
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It's sad, but one of life's best education is learning to deal with the bullies and teasers. I suspect all the protective rules we have about play and speech may actually be making some kids more violent and sneaky. They don't ever get to work things out at a lesser level.
This is a great memory, with a lot of wisdom. Thanks for visiting my MM and leaving a comment.
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Look at you...beating up the bully!
I agree, being comfortable with yourself is a hard thing to learn. It's awesome that you figured it out early.
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You go, Gracey! It's one of the most valuable lessons in life- learning to be "you." If you follow that true path you'll never go astray. What a great story and special memory to share. I will admit to laughing a little a the idea of you slugging that boy. ;-)
Sorry your weekend time with your hubby was so short. Stinks when that happens!
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Great little window into your life! I was picked on in 5th-6th grade. I'd made the "mistake" of moving into the most popular girl's old house. It didn't stop until I switched schools. But those two hellish years built a strength and compassion in me that might not have budded otherwise.
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Jay: I've always found true that the kids that are mean and act tough usually have the biggest insecurities and are scared underneath all that meanness.
MoJoKat: You're welcome and I'll be sure to check out your blog!
Norma: I think you are correct to a point but from what I can see and hear from friend's kids, there are still those mean bullies out there that they do have to deal with.
Susan: I did apologize a dozen times to him for hurting him but then I wounded his pride more so he was even meaner to me after that. I eventually stopped apologizing to him because I got sick of him saying he would never forgive me. What a cry baby!
Lisa: Hopefully next weekend will be more eventful especially since Jeremy isn't doing an all nighter again.
Chelle: Yes, I think that was the day I got my tough skin. I still had my insecurities below the surface but I got a tougher skin with time.
Tink: Why would they pick on you for that? Kids are so stupid sometimes. It does build strength and hopefully we all learn to be nice to others through our "hardship".
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You go girl! That was a great post.
I'm just imagining you getting fed up enough that you slug that guy. Too cool. Sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
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Gracey, you Rock!! growing up & learn to be yourself is a pain, but no pain, no gain.
To protect ourself and our principle is just a basic thing we have to do.
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Good for you! You stood up for yourself and you earned their respect!
It is moments like these that do stand out and have shaped who we are.
Thank You for sharing.
You have made me think of a few of my own.
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Name: Gracey
Home: United States
About Me: Welcom to my site! This is a place for me to write from day to day or sometimes from week to week. It just depends what is happening in my life. Please stay as long as you'd like and hope to hear from you soon as well!
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Brushes by Gvalkyrie
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posted by Gracey at 
Well sometimes you gotta kick a little butt to get people's attention. I'm not surprised that boy turned out to be a crybaby. The one's that always act so tought usually are.