Sunday, February 03, 2008
Letter To Jesus
Dear Jesus,

Wow, how do I even start. Since you are God, you already know what I'm thinking but I still have a hard time forming the right words. Writing is easier for me, so I decided to write You. I've searched for years wanting to know how to knowYou. I always heard of the Christians that have that personal relationship with God. It took years even after going to a Christian college to find out exactly what it meant. It's not about the rules and regulations that some think it is about. Actually, I believe You were the one who condemned the Pharisees for their fakeness and hiding their sinful ways behind their religious robes. And sometimes I catch myself being just like them at times, and You reveal it to me, and I become utterly ashamed of myself.

Yet in all your goodness, You forgive me and restore me back to that sweet relationship we had before when I could come before You in all humility. May the words I say and the things I do let my life show that You are truly walking with me. I hope that I can make You smile, Jesus.

It's politically incorrect to say that You are the only way to heaven, yet it's the truth, plain and simple. Why are those words so offensive? Why do You offend people? I find nothing offensive about You because You want me to know and love You. You aren't full of rules and regulations. You do not want to oppress me; You want to FREE me! You have freed me. You are with me every step of the way in life. Thank You! What a wonderful assurance that I know You have everything under control even if this world is falling apart. I don't understand a lot of Your ways or why You let things happen, but I have the faith You have instructed us to have in You.

Looking back on my past mistakes, You never left me. You may have been a bit behind me but that was only because I pushed You away so many times. You kept knocking on the door of my heart and I kept shutting it. Until that one fateful day, I could no longer shut You out anymore. I had to answer that knock. Thank you for not giving up on me and thank you for bringing people in my life those years I was running but searching.

You are indeed the God of love and thank you for always listening when I need to talk with You. Thank you for giving me the peace when I am worried and scared of the future. Please keep my feet in the right path, the path that always leads to You, and if they do go off course, please bring something or someone to help me get back on course. For I am indeed only human and have many faults, but in my weakness, You can make me strong.

Love Always,

posted by Gracey at Sunday, February 03, 2008 - 2 comments
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Fighting For Dear Life

I am currently half way through a book by David Gibbs, the attorney for Terry Shiavo's family. It is heartbreaking and compelling at the same time. I did not follow too much about her case back in 2004-2005, so I didn't really know what was happening. I only knew what I heard on the news or read in the newspaper. The media doesn't give facts to the public, I believe. They have their own agenda and will make the facts distorted if they feel it's necessary. I honestly don't put my trust in the news and the facts they are giving. Even when it comes to the war, I know they aren't reporting any of the good that is going on in Iraq. It's sad but true!

I thought Terry was a PVS case, meaning a Post Vegetative State, which basically means that she could not respond to anyone or anything. While reading this book and watching the videos of her from 2000, this woman was clearly not a "vegetable". She responded to her mother by smiling, making faces when her dad was about to tickle her face with his beard, and so on.

I am dumbfounded that Judge Greer, who tried her case, would not have Terry reevaluated. The doctors pronounced her PVS back in 1998 or 2000 and since then, medical technology was more advanced and she could be better evaluated in 2004.

I personally believe that Judge Greer did not like his previous rulings questioned. He ordered Terry's feeding tube removed once before, and I believe his pride went before Terry's life.

One other thing that disturbs me the worst, is the "death sentence". Removing someone's feeding tube is one of the cruelest ways to die. We don't even torture our enemies or convicts that are on death row like that. That is considered "cruel and unusual punishment". They said she wouldn't feel a thing and she would die in comfort. OH REALLY? Let's go down to Ethiopia and see how comfortable and peaceful those people are from dehydrating and starving to death!

Even though this case is now 2 years old, it makes me sick that America could come to this. We wouldn't even treat our animals like that! God have mercy--NO, don't have mercy on a country that would allow a disabled woman to die like that!! We deserve nothing less than God's wrath.

Whether you were for this or not, I would urge you to read this book, Fighting For Dear Life. It is an eye opener and it will hit closer to home than you ever imagined!
posted by Gracey at Tuesday, January 01, 2008 - 6 comments
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Thanks For The Support!
Hi Everyone!

I'm sorry I haven't reported in for awhile. As you can imagine, I have had no desire to write. I'm happy to report that Jer made it there safely and I do get to hear from him about 5 minutes every other day. It's better than nothing!

I'm handling it much better than I thought I would. My lonely times are at night especially when I'm in bed. I just want someone to talk to, but he's not there for me to tell him how my day went and so on. It's lonely but I do catch myself talking to my trusted protector, Nero. He's been a good guard dog and I think he senses he's the man of the house now! :) I'm glad I have my babies! They do keep me company.

I've been keeping myself quite busy with work, and I know that is a good thing. I don't have time to have a pity party (not that I have any right to do that in the first place)....I'm very blessed in so many areas in my life that it would be a "sin" for me to complain! God has been very good and I trust He will see both of us through this difficult time.

Thanks for all the comments....I honestly do appreciate them and appreciate all of you.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Laughing and Crying All At The Same Time
Tonight I feel numb. I've been lying awake next to my husband with all kinds of thoughts going through my mind. First I start to quietly giggle because I think of some funny thing he did earlier today, then that laugh turns into just a smile as my thoughts turn to the big grin he gave me when he got home today, and then all of a sudden the tears start as I know in just a few short days that smile will not be there to greet me at the door. The tears are running as I'm writing this and I can barely see the screen. There are times when I feel very strong and other times when I feel very weak and vulnerable. The weak and vulnerable time is at this exact moment. During the day, I'm a strong woman who can handle anything that comes her way, but it's on nights like these when the scared little girl comes out from hiding. I know it will take time to adjust and to learn to live without him by my side, but that journey isn't going to be easy.

You may be thinking I'm sounding as if he's dead, but I do not have the guarantee that he will come back to me alive either. I pray and hope that he will but there is no guarantee. There is no guarantee of that for anyone. Most of the time, I do not think of it, but there are times it creeps up and invades my thoughts for a moment or two, and then I push it back as far as it will go and hope it doesn't return for a long while.

As much as I tried to prepare myself, it never is enough. Some people's thoughts are "Well, you knew what you were signing up for when you married him." How can anyone know what they are really "signing up" for when you haven't ever experienced it before? I don't regret my decision to marry this man one bit and would do it in a heartbeat again if given the choice. I'm not looking for sympathy or a pat on the back; I just needed to write, vent, and let go..... And in a way, I actually feel a little bit better to have let some of it out! Tomorrow will be another day--another day to be strong and weak; another day to laugh and cry--and, you know, I think that is alright!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Well, I thought you all would appreciate this. I got to talking to the doctor's dad last week and he was telling me how he used to work at the eye clinic on Fort Hood back in the 50's, and at that time, Elvis was stationed at Fort Hood and used to visit Mr. Ruiz a lot because he let Elvis kind of hide out in his office when he wanted to get away from the crowds and people in general. Mr. Ruiz said Elvis was a really nice, humble man and they used to have some really good conversations when he would "hide out".

Mr. Ruiz brought in a picture of him and Elvis from June of 1958 and I scanned it at home to save it since I love Elvis and loved hearing Mr. talk about him. Thought you might get a kick out of it too! I actually know someone who knew Elvis on a personal level!!! Pretty cool!
posted by Gracey at Tuesday, October 30, 2007 - 3 comments
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Name: Gracey
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